


It’s okay being broken like this

by Mallior



Series: And I know I'm not alone... [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Extremis Tony Stark, Friday is a good bro, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Torture, Past non-consensual body modification, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Surprise!!, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wings!!, mention of suicide, mentions of anxiety attacks, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-03 19:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14003217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mallior/pseuds/Mallior
Summary: "He couldn’t forgive him. Not yet, when his mother’s stuttering breath woke him up at night… maybe never. But he understood. Not everything, because there were things in that file that made him nauseous. If the Ten Rings did some of those to him for ‘fun’ as Hydra did to Barnes, Tony would have made sure, he never left that cave alive…"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I found a good prompt months ago, scribbled a few sentences about it and then hid the doc on my Drive. Now I found it! 
> 
> Warning: there will be a surprise!!
> 
>  
> 
> Recomended music: [Mass Effect 3 Soundtrack - An End Once and For All](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5JvbD2Zc9I)

Of course it was a bitter pill to swallow. They lied, betrayed and destroyed, yet demanded Tony’s understanding. No explanation, no rhyme or reasoning, not even the smallest spark of cooperation. That left them at Rogers throwing an epic hissy fit over… everything, not just Barnes.

 

But the cherry of this whole shitpile was the video. If Tony was honest with himself, it was one of the few times, when saw red and let it get better of him. He embraced the bright hot anger, let it guide his fists and weapons. It felt so good for a few minutes, then his survival instincts kicked started yelling at him for being a reckless idiot, sounding suspiciously like Rhodey. In that minute he understood, there was no way for him to get out of this alive, because his life was measured against Barnes’ and found lacking.

 

Siberia and the whole ‘Civil War’ clusterfuck ended in cold silence, broken bones and bits and pieces of past thrown around him. The only thing that kept Tony conscious - long enough for Vision to find him - was Friday. She sounded so scared for him, trying to keep him awake - _“don’t make research hypothermia facts and pictures Boss… ugh, too late…”_ \- and keeping the bots calm, because of course she kept them updated until Tony lost his momentum.

 

The following weeks bled into months of grief, anger and dull pain. Hairline fractures around his eyes, chest almost caved-in - he needed his ribs reinforced, so he could breath, with that he put the reactor back - and nightmares. The fuckin’ nightmares… Mom’s voice calling for Howard, pleading for her life then after a few gasps, going forever silent. Those horrible last few seconds kept him awake, screamed his throat bloody for her.

 

After weeks of recuperation Tony locked himself into his lab, barring even Pepper from entering. Hopped up on caffeine, ignoring - or at least trying - his ribs, then threw himself into the drafts of a pair of braces he drew on the back of his own hospital release papers.

 

Friday kicked him out after three days of no sleep and some questionable smoothies. Tony’s curses were ineffective against her logic and the bots strong-armed him through the door. Vision caught him somewhere between the lab and the penthouse floor, napping in the elevator. The next memory was a plate of sandwiches  in front of him, sitting at the communal kitchen’s table.   
Yeah, he was a little tired, not remembering how they got in there.

 

Rhodey almost strangled him when he finally showed up at a physical therapy session, and after that, he got hit with the gunmetal grey and red case, which contained the finished braces. If he thought about it, he could understand Rhodey’s anger, not giving himself a little break. But after the surgery, he had some time to recuperate and it made everything so much worse. Lying a bed, with nothing to distract himself for a week made the guilt more bitter, the nightmares even more detailed…

 

But when he finally saw his best friend walk a few shaking steps with the braces on, all the aching ribs and cuts on his hands worth it. Although, it was practically nothing compared to what the man lost, but still. The grin on Rhodey’s face made his battered heart hurt a little less.

 

Pepper held some understandable grudge against Tony, which was only sated by five pairs of designer shoes, two sets of jewellery and a lot of apologizing. Of course he got yelled at for being a reckless idiot and guilted into a few interviews and a small press conference. The company’s stocks could use the help, because she started to get angry at the board’s whining. That never went well on the office furniture. Yes, the Extremis was stable in her - Tony worked so much on that -, but it didn’t help with her little bit shortened temper and toleration of bullshit.

 

In between the press and rebuilding his armor, Tony spent every little morsel of his time to hammer the Accords into something useful. The idea was a good and necessary one, and he _knew_ they needed all people… With his own Extremis burning in his veins, he could almost feel that foreign, malicious power when he looked up at the night sky. _Soon_ , the stars promised.

 

The last thing he wanted was Rogers and his merry band of backstabbers anywhere near him, but Tony was a realist. When - and sadly, not if - the time came, every person could count. With Pepper and Rhodey’s explicit and _loud_ displeasure, he started the process to bring them back to the States, including Barnes.

 

Barnes’ Hydra file made Tony throw up a few times, until he finished it. It was horrible, humanity at its lowest. Torture doesn’t even cover the whole thing, it was so much worse. All the anger he felt for the man, now was banked a little and mixed with the smallest hints of understanding.

 

He couldn’t forgive him. Not yet, when his mother’s stuttering breath woke him up at night… maybe never. But he understood. Not everything, because there were things in that file that made him nauseous. If the Ten Rings did some of those to him for ‘fun’ as Hydra did to Barnes, Tony would have made sure, he never left that cave alive…

  


It took almost six months to beat the Accords and its Council into submission. At the end of it, Tony was fluent in lawyer-speak, international law and law enforcement. His hatred for Rogers also doubled. To revisit the Accords, he reread it and if the Captain did it, he would have seen, it wasn't as horrible as he thought. Sure, it wasn’t perfect either, but all they needed was some cooperation. Looks like it was easier to start a fight over it…

 

Tony didn’t want to meet the Renegades - the tabloids sometimes were so uncreative…- but his lobby for having all the Avengers in one place was _way too_ successful. So he dressed in one of his finest suits, picked his sunglasses carefully and plastered a finely honed media smile onto his face. No one - the Renegades most importantly - needed to know about the Extremis, Friday humming reassuringly in the back of his mind, the latest version of the armor _under_ his skin.

 

Of course it wasn’t a smooth sailing, as the press conference showed it. As soon as the Compound’s door closed behind them, it became clear the last nine and half months weren’t good in Wakanda. Barton and Maximoff treated him persona non grata, both blaming him for losing _important persons_. Like Tony convinced Laura to divorce the archer or maybe he he talked Vision into avoiding Wanda at all cost.

 

Romanov, Lang and Wilson didn’t really registered on Tony’s radar. He _maybe_ hoped better from the spy, but well… Lang and Wilson were naive idiots, blinded by hero worship, there was nothing Tony could say to them. They needed to learn from their mistakes.

 

And then there was Rogers and Barnes. The Captain tried to talk to him, making excuses about his decisions, trying to convince Tony to see _his_ mistakes - twice. At the second attempt, the engineer interrupted him in the middle of his third sentence.

 

“I don’t care Rogers. You and your little band are back in the States, because there are bigger and meaner bad boys in the universe and _when_ the time comes, humanity will need all the help they can get. Sadly, it includes you guys too. But, not even for a second, think that I care about all the bullshit excuses you tell to yourself. Also, read your copy of the Accords carefully, you know, after all you signed it… The second you step out of line or hurt any of the new members, I will personally break your spine and lock you away.”

 

Tony let the eerie blue of Extremis shine through his eyes, making Rogers to take a shocked step back.

“Am I clear?” he asked softly.

 

“Y-yeah.” was the faint reply. The engineer turned around and left the man alone in the hallway.

 

Rogers stopped pestering Tony when he was at the Compound and if it cost him a few panic attacks, after verbally tearing out the Captain’s throat, no one needed to know about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEWARE of the tags!!
> 
> I started writing this part while listening ['the GazettE - 千鶴 [Chizuru]'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYEPl2uIAwU), but finished it with ['Jason Walker - Echo'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxpLxb5jHO0). Pick your poison. :D
> 
> Also, thank you for your kind words, guys. <3

Barnes was an interesting case. For understandable reasons, he was so traumatized, even Tony looked well-adjusted compared to him. It made the man silent and sullen, avoiding everyone in the Compound, he only showed up for his mandatory psych sessions and for the BARF ones. According to Friday, he even tried to avoid his lifelong pal, Rogers too.

 

Also, he was one of the main reasons why Tony moved back to the Tower. The other prominent one was Rhodey and his _voice of reason_ , after he stumbled upon Tony breaking things in the workshop. He listened the engineer’s rant about his still simmering anger and resentment, the shitty attitudes he got, winced as he recounted the Winter Soldier's file, glossing over the nightmare-inducing parts and the whole fuckin’ conflict in his head. You know, the file and the video. A bloody mess, literally…

 

With Barnes, they spent the BARF sessions in silence and when Tony was sure Friday had everything under control, he even left the control room. Thanks to some heavy paperwork, Barnes’ therapist got a report from Friday and not even Rogers’ screeching about it could stop his pet assassin getting medical help. It was a nice, working system, Tony living in the Tower in blessed peace, only came to the Compound to train with the group or to start the BARF and that was it.

 

Until he got a distress call from the Compound, just after 2 AM, jolting him out of an engineering binge - fuck yeah, more efficient, stronger and cheaper solar panels!   
He almost dropped his half-finished prototype, when Friday sounded the alarm and switched on the red emergency lights.

 

With a half-bitten off curse Tony put the panel down onto the nearest workbench and scrambled to the sliding balcony door, the armor rippling over his body. He was already in the air when the coordinates - provided by Friday - finally registered. The Compound! Maybe Maximoff gave up the facade of innocence and gone on a murder spree? Or Rhodey’s patience - tested and approved by Tony Stark - ended and started a brawl with Rogers?

 

As he flew, he uplinked to the security cameras - it always made his head ache, so he tried to avoid it - and found almost everyone asleep and alive. Romanov was reading in her room, the only one awake, Barnes’ room empty. He shot an inquiry to Friday, maybe Barnes left the Compound? But the only answer he got was one of the roof cameras showing a lone figure perched on the ledge. His hair and the glint of the dark vibranium betrayed his identity, Barnes. Okay, not an escape attempt then…

 

For a moment he thought about using the stealth function, but gave up on it. If Barnes was unstable or had a flashback, the last thing he needed the armor showing up out of nowhere. With that in mind, he flew a slow circle over the roof, cameras tracking Barnes movement. Eerily still, face obscured, no weapon in sight. While he looked unarmed, he didn’t need any weapon to kill and for Tesla’s sake, he was an assassin, he was _never_ unarmed.

 

He didn’t even move as Tony landed with a solid thunk near him, only tried to pull himself into a smaller ball. Shit, not good. The engineer willed away the faceplate only - false sense of security and all that jazz. Eyeing the strips of ripped fabrics on Barnes, Tony mulled over what to say to the man.

 

Fuck it, he wasn’t famous for his delicate people kills.

 

“I would hate to renovate the pavement under you, so step away from that ledge Barnes.” The only reaction he got was broad shoulders hunching even further. “Do I need to call Rogers to drag your suicidal ass from there? Also Friday, tell me why did you sound the alarm at the Tower when you could have called the knight in blue body armor from downstairs? By now, I should have finished the panel and for once in my life I could have avoided Pepper’s yelling. I swear to Tesla, someday you’ll occupy a blender.”

 

“Yess Boss, my circuits are trembling. “ came the droll reply.

 

“The sass… What did I do wrong with all of you? Whatever. Barnes, _step_ away from that ledge before I drag you here.” Maybe he was harsh, but sometimes soft words and pleading didn’t help - at least for him, when he was far too deep in memories.

 

Barnes took a small step back, but didn’t turn to face Tony. The engineer’s eyes returned to the man’s back, puzzled by the fabric strips wounded around his torso.

 

“Are you injured Tasty Freeze or just trying to make a fashion statement? Let me tell you, it’s a weak Bride of Frankenstein cosplay if-” _Something_ shifted under the strips, and Tony was sure it wasn’t a muscle jump. The faceplate slipped into place and with a blink, he brought up the thermal image of Barnes. What the everloving fuck? “Uh, Barnes?”

 

“I-I remember… reading that book.” The man murmured, barely audible, turning a little.

 

“Well, good for you.I never had the time or the motivation.” Tony babbled as he run a few scans on the figure in front of  him. “You know, human experiments never interested me, but give something with circuits or even better, give me things to build with circuits.” He was injured, beneath the _things_ on his thermal scan, which were cooler than the rest of his body.   
“Also, you should see someone about your scratches, I know your healing is good, but the last thing we want is The Star Spangled Man yelling.” Aaand that was a mistake, because Barnes spun around, his body tense, hands balled into fists.

 

“No.” Came as a growl, sending something small and sparking down Tony’s spine. Fuck him and his adrenaline junkie ass, for getting interested in the worst things he could find.

 

“Okay, okay. Just a suggestion, but I swear to God, the second Rogers comes at me about this, I will deny I met you tonight, I wasn’t even at the Compound. And you can be sure, he’ll smell the blood on you, will find the sheet strips somewhere, but your funeral.” He tried for a nonchalant shrug. Extremis and improved suit or not, some body gesture never translated correctly over layers of armor.   
“The medbay is available and the medical staff cannot say a word to anyone why were you down there, unless you want them. Your murderface is telling me it’s not something you want to tell to the world.”

 

“I don’t have a murderface.” Barnes interrupted him. “And no-one knows about _this_ , which is how it could be.”

 

“Well, I’m off to revolutionize the green energy world again. Good luck with Rogers and the medbay.” Tony was already in the air and just wanted to turn to head to the Tower, when Barnes shouted after him.

 

“Wait!”

 

The engineer hesitated for a few heartbeats, before he landed again. Lifting the faceplate, he quirked an eyebrow at Barnes.

 

“I can’t go to medical, because I will fall into flashbacks.” he whispered, voice going scratchy, like he was keeping himself from yelling or screaming, arms hugging his upper chest. “I don’t want to hurt anybody, just because I’m in there.” Even in the low moonlight, Tony could see the fear and the pain on the man’s face. “Ro-Steve cannot know about this. Please. Could you-”

 

“Wait, wait, wait. You want _me_ to take a look at your back, even there is something really strange about it, and not your buddy. Explain this to me, before I say anything.” Tony demanded. He didn’t want to be used as way to hurt Rogers, because he knew what it felt like being on the wrong end of the man’s fist.

 

“I know the fact, that you hate me for what I did, and you are right to do so. But with you I know that you _cannot_ hate me more than that. While with him, it’s- it’s hard enough to have Bucky Barnes’ face and always failing to reach the pedestal he fell from. I’m not him anymore, and my body is the absolute proof of that. Yet it’s the only thing I have, no matter how monstrous it is. Please, would you help me clean up the scratches on my back?”

 

It was the longest Tony has ever heard Barnes speak. And God, if it didn’t made his battered heart hurt a little for him, because he knew the feeling Barnes was speaking about. The sad resignation he talked about being measured against his old self, and found lacking made Tony angry at Rogers. Maybe he should have insisted on getting everyone psych treatment, because Barnes wasn’t the only one needing help.

 

“Okay, meet you at the workshop downstairs. Bring a t-shirt so you can stop the Bride of Frankenstein routine.” Not waiting for an answer, Tony just threw himself off the roof, but sadly it didn’t help with all the conflicting emotions in his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEWARE of the tags!!
> 
> Recommended music: [girugamesh - 腐界の闇 (Fukai no Yami)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2fhs0v9wqM)

Barnes practically tiptoed his way into the workshop, eyes almost comically wide. In the well.lit room Tony could finally see the disaster wrapped around the man, small splotches of blood on his shoulders and back. And of course the slight lump, from the top of his shoulders to his waist, softening the harshly shaped ‘V’ of his upper body. 

 

“Welcome to my parlour.” Tony said as he dug out the first-aid kit. Of course, it was the biggest military one Rhodey could find, stocked with everything they could think of. As he turned back to Barnes, he found the man free of the sheet strips, back carefully out of view, arms hugging himself, face pale.

 

Shit.

 

“If you want I can call for Vision. He’s able to patch you up and you can be sure he won’t say a word.” Tony put the supplies down and just opened his mouth again to summon Vision through Friday, when Barnes’ right hand slammed down onto the workbench between them.

 

“No! No, don’t… please. Just- just give me a few seconds.” Barnes’ voice was shaky along with his flesh hand. Then he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, putting both of his hands flat on the workbench and-

 

Wings. They were black as ink, ruffled in places and small enough to hide under clothes, apparently. Tony was sure he made a decent fish impression for a few seconds, until he felt Friday poking at his mind. Okay, okay.

 

“Well at least, they aren’t tentacles.”

 

Barnes’ eyes flew open, utter disbelief on his face. Tony just shrugged.

 

“What? I met a few of Xavier’s mutants and I lived under the same roof with Bruce Banner. You aren’t that special, Snowflake.” The grin he got was almost a nightmare-inducing one, full of pain and anger in equal measure.

 

“1951. March 10th: After the fourth unsuccessful experiment, the implants are healthy and the fusion is stable. With prolonged activity, the Asset starts to recognize them as  useful parts. 1951. August 22nd: The Asset learned gliding, the process gave Doctor Karasov a lot of data about its healing capabilities. It also brought up a problem. Its system concentrates healing the wings. Further tests needed.   
1955\. January 25th: The Asset attempted an escape by gliding off the vantage point during mission. Reconditioning needed.   
1972\. July 13th: After the fourth operation, its wings are growing back again. Doctor Granin recommended giving up on removing them, but higher command demands results. 1972. December 4th: Handler Alexadreyevich in a fit of rage destroyed the Asset’s wings, shattering the bones and cutting them off with a hunting knife. The handler was moved to another base, this being his third occasion to overly discipline the Asset, damaging it. 1974-”

 

“Enough!” Tony slammed his hands down. “If you want me to abandon ship, keep this up. Otherwise shut your mouth. I got it, okay? Sorry for trying to make it less traumatizing.” he was sure his hands were shaking, Extremis or not. As if the file wasn’t enough, apparently there were things Hydra didn’t want on paper. His eyes flitted over Barnes’ face, who took a few steps back, pale and hands holding himself, wings out of sight. Tony and his ‘fine people skills’, indeed.

 

“You still want me to clean your back?” he asked.

 

Barnes flinched a little, then nodded almost imperceptible.

 

“Do you want to sit down? While my IQ and ego is high, outwardly it’s not reflecting. It would be easier.”

 

The man slowly circled the workbench and plopped down onto the other stool. His back and shoulder was a mess. Deep, long scratches, bruising and blood, black feathers looking painfully twisted. Tony started on top with disinfectant and a few gauze pads, cleaning everything, while narrating what he was going to do. The last thing they both needed Tony getting K.O.-d by Barnes. 

 

Thankfully no stitches were needed, the deepest ones got bandages over them and when the last one was applied Tony took a shaky breath.

 

“Okay, we survived this. Good job team, let’s never repeat this incident. On the other hand… Um… can I get the feathers into order, because they fuck with my head on a profound level. Also I don’t think-” Barnes turned so fast, he almost tumbled off the stool. Graceful assassin, bullshit. 

 

“You want to do  _ what _ ?” he asked.

 

“Get your feathers in ord-”

 

“I heard you fine for the first time, but why? Are high? Or drunk?”

 

“Excuse you! I’m not either of it. But they look horribly neglected and some of them are way too crooked to be comfortable. Can or can’t, Barnes?” Tony lifted a questioning eyebrow at the man. He just blinked a few times in confusion at the engineer, then slowly turned his back. 

 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea, but yeah, they bother me like Hell. Go for it, but if I tell you to stop, you better take a few steps back. Clear?” He asked.

 

“Crystal. Friday, gimme some beats, we’ll be here for a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned this to be the last chapter, but I think, this chapter is heavy enough as it is.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended music: [Two Steps From Hell - Meant To Be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q184hD1gWps)

James Rhodes wasn’t sure if he was still asleep or maybe he ate something questionable… but this was absolutely surreal.

 

He couldn’t sleep and after glaring at the ceiling didn’t help, he got up, maneuvered himself into his wheelchair - way too tired to bother with the braces - and rolled his way toward the communal kitchen.

 

Well, almost, because he found the TV in the living room on, voices barely audible, talking. He stopped just outside the door, not really wanting to interact with the current residents, but to his surprise, one of the voices was Tony’s. What the hell? Why was he in the Compound in the middle of the night? Why he didn’t call Rhodey? Who the fuck he was talking to? Vision?

 

Carefully angling his chair, he peered into the room.

 

The TV illuminated Tony, sitting on one of the sofas, in front of him sat Barnes - shirtless, what the fuck? - on the carpet covered floor and- Rhodes rubbed his eyes for a moment. Blinking a little, he looked again, but nothing changed. Tony was still there, void black wings spread in front of him, what sprouted from the assassin’s broad, scarred back. The engineer’s fingers combed through the dark feathers, sometimes adjusting them while he let his mind and mouth run free, talking about who knows what.

 

Yet the most important things were Tony’s relaxed shoulders and the almost-there smile on Barnes’ face. Okay, the wings - still what the everloving Hell, and how the fuck do you keep them hidden? - were also important, but they couldn’t measure up to seeing his best friend truly relaxed for the first time in months. The inquisition about this budding friendship - and Rhodey could see, what it was - could wait.

 

With a small smile, he silently turned around to go back to his room, missing Barnes’ glancing in his direction with something akin to relief and a hint of embarrassment in his eyes.

 

-*--*--*--*-

 

Tony just ended the barrel roll to shoot at James - don’t ask… - with soft plastic balls, when Friday sent an alert. Rogers en route to the gym. Shit. Thankfully, she displayed the same message to the Soldier, who was perched on top the climbing walls. The muffled Russian cursing made Tony laugh a little.

 

The door slammed open, to reveal a visibly upset Captain America in t-shirts and shorts, shield in hand. His eyes zeroed on Tony.

 

“What the Hell are you doing, Stark?” he bellowed as he marched inside.

 

“Hello to you too, Rogers. Thanks for asking, I’m fine, what can I do for you on this nice evening?” While he sounded nonchalant and sarcastic, Friday tried to reassure him, in the Compound they were invincible, plus she could call for reinforcements in a heartbeat, but it didn’t really help with his budding panic attack.

 

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about! Bucky, it’s okay, you can come out, I’m here!” Tony’s eyebrows jumped behind his faceplate.

 

“Wait, wait, wait! You think, I’m… I don’t know, beating up your pal for shits and giggles in the middle of the night in a complex, where he can call for help in any seconds? Is that the case, Rogers?” Okay, panic attack cancelled, indignant anger ON.

 

“What else I could think of? You still harbour irrational hate for him and the whole team! When I ask Friday where Bucky is, she replies with an _“In the gym”_ and when I ask _again_ what is he doing there I get the reply _“Sparring with Mr. Stark”_. So, what could I possibly think, Tony?” Rogers spits out his name like it’s poison, eyes burning with anger. It feels familiar…

 

“You should think, Friday tells the truth, for example. Or you could make a video call to the gym, to _me_ and ask what’s going on. But apparently, those were way too simple and obvious to you. Instead you stormed here and started accusing Tony with bullshit. You know it’s bullshit Stevie, let’s not pretend.” James voice echoed from the dark side of the gym, followed by a heavy thump as he leapt from the wall, Tony and Steve turning to face him. Thank God for built-in night vision, because that was one Hell of a sight, Barnes marching towards them, full Winter Soldier murder strut - yes, he watched the footage of that fight -, wings spread slightly and conveying aggression. This was really, really not the time for Tony to question things from the last few months. Damn him and his thighs…

 

“Are you okay Bu-” Rogers bit the hated nickname in half, only to gape at Barnes, going pale and taking a small step back. “What- what is _that_ on your back? Oh God…” His head whipped to his right, the poisonous glare tenfolded. “What did you do to him? I should have never trusted you to help with his arm! What the Hell did you think? Is it revenge, huh? You torture him for fun? It’s a payback for your parents, am I right? You aren’t different from Hydra, you-” His rant cut off as a shiny metal fist slammed into the side of his face, sending him into a sprawl. James closed the distance between himself and Rogers. He crouched down next to him, then grabbed the man’s shirt and dragged him up, getting him face to face. Tony only could watch, rooted in place, the Captain’s words echoing in his head.

 

“This is your first and last warning, Steve. Talk to Tony like this one more time and I will personally break your jaw into tiny little fragments. He did nothing but helped me, not only with my arm but all the shit Hydra did to me. And here you are, blaming him for someone else shit. At first, I didn’t really believe Colonel Rhodes words on it, but he was so fuckin’ right… You became a bully Steve, exactly the type you hated so much. You know the one, who only wanted save his own conscience. Does it ring any bell to you, pal? I know about your _apology letter_ and let me tell you, if you wrote that shit for me, I would have never helped you to get a pardon.” He let go of the fabric, Rogers hitting the mat with a small smack. His eyes were wide and desperate, his cheek swelling and purpling with the pattern of James’ metal fist. Good.

 

“Until you pull your head out of your ass, I don’t want to talk to you. And let’s not mention why the Hell are you spying on me at night. Tony, let’s go.” With that he got up and stepped up to the engineer and with gentle hands he guided him out of the gym.

 

-*--*--*--*-

 

Tony avoided the Compound in the last two weeks, citing urgent SI work to get out of team practice. Bless Rhodey and his ability to read him like the cheap sci-fi flick he was, no one tried to strong-arm him into participation. Unless you counted the one and only call from James, which was rerouted to Friday. And that was a brilliant idea, because when Tony rewatched the video call - the sneaky bastard - he was hit with the most lethal Puppy Eyes of Doom he ever witnessed. The wounded look in those ice blue eyes with the soft pout was very effective on Tony, fuck him and this stupid… crush.

 

One of the perks living in the Tower - _STARK_ tower, thank you - was, he could be alone for days, until Pepper wanted something or she just checked up on him. He had the revelation during one of these check ups when he accidentally called Pepper _James_. He was awake for three days with little food and a lot of caffeine, for Tesla’s sake! Which of course led to another inquisition - the last one being Rhodey and about the wings - and Pepper cackling like a loon in the end. So yeah, he was interested in James Barnes, but that was it. Nothing serious, like wanting to seek and destroy all Hydra cells he could find. Nothing like he wanted to have the late-night conversations back, while grooming those beautiful wings. Nah, nothing like that.

 

Fuck it, of course it was like THAT! He missed the man, like Hell. The previous five months were strange, not a little traumatizing and _good_. James was an interesting person, surprisingly smart for someone who got education in the forties and he usually could follow Tony’s logic jumps. Even Rhodey had problems with them from time to time and they were friends for decades. And of course he was beautiful, scars, wings and metal arm included. So yeah, Tony had a crush.

 

With a sigh, he got up from the workbench, kicking the stool out of way and walked out of the workshop. The elevator took him up to the penthouse and as soon as the door opened Tony took a deep, tired breath, eyes closed and he stayed like that.

 

“Friday, did you order food?” He asked warily, because he would swear on Pepper’s life he smelled _food_. Something warm, rich with tomato and herbs, along with fresh bread.

 

“No, Boss.”

 

“That was awfully short. What’s going on?” He asked, as he opened his eyes. Nothing suspicious, but the lights were on in the small kitchen. Maybe Rhodey wanted a calm evening and a peaceful dinner and came to Tony. With a smile he left the elevator and almost skipped into the kitchen, sure that Rhodey brought food from his favourite Italian place.

 

Except, it wasn’t Rhodey, but _James_ in his kitchen. Wings not bound and hidden, dressed in all black and sporting an Iron Man apron, of all things, he stood at the electric stove, stirring the source of that amazing smell. In an Iron Man apron. Tony took another deep breath and dragged his mind out of the gutter.

 

“Well, hello there. What’s the occasion of this really nice visit? Not that I’m not glad to see you, just asking.” He walked to the kitchen island and sat down, keeping it between them. James turned at the sound of his voice and smiled at Tony. _It’s just a crush, it’s just a crush…_

 

“I’m moving in. Permanently. Otherwise you’ll have a Compound full of dead bodies, Rhodes will have a lot of paperwork and I’ll be behind bars. On the other hand, I missed you, Tony. So warm food and company, if you up to it. If not, I can eat in my own kitchen, Friday showed me around.” He pulled the pot off the stove and started rummaging around the cabinets.

 

“Wait, back up. I could use more details while we eat. And start with why do you want to go Winter Soldier on the Compound.” Tony asked. He could freak out over the fact James wants to move in with him, in private…

 

“In short, I’m fed up with all the blame game and bullshit they spout. I got into a fistfight with Barton a few days ago, him being an asshole about you and his ex-wife. Not really surprised she divorced his stupid ass, which revealed to be a sore point. I gave up on them when Rogers started yelling with _me_ , about being an insensitive jerk, I moved into room above your workshop and only got out to eat and run. But you know Steve, he’s like a dog with a rubber bone, he started pestering me to apologize to _Barton_. He almost got decked for his troubles, again. To prevent mass murder and infinite paperwork, Rhodes recommended the Tower. So, here I am. Also if I didn’t say, I missed you. And uh…” He trailed off his rant and suddenly looked surprisingly shy for someone who was still drop dead gorgeous in a novelty merch apron, hands full of plates and utensils. “And I wanted to ask you out for a dinner for weeks, but someone had to fuck it up and made you avoid the Compound. Now, this is just a dinner, my offer to eat somewhere else stands, but in the near future, I would like to ask you for a dinner date. But if it’s not-”

 

“Sit your ass down.” Tony pointed at the stool next to himself. Okay, he can do this. His whole evening took a barrel roll, he absolutely didn’t see coming, but made everything much, much better. James put all the stuff down carefully and rounding the kitchen island, he sat down, wings carefully folded behind his back. It made Tony grin, because he was still learning how to integrate them into his body language and sometimes they betrayed him, showing what was going on behind the badass assassin mask. “So, are you serious?” Tony asked, voice soft as he looked into those incredible ice blue eyes.

 

“Yes.” Came the answer with so much conviction, it made his old, battered heart twist a little.

 

“Then, Mr. Barnes you have a very hungry man to feed, and after this you can laid out all the date plans you have, while we pretend to watch a movie. And don’t even try.” he lifted a hand to cut James off, who opened his mouth. “I _know_ you have multiple plans. But, chop chop, I’m starving.” He shooed the man away, only to have his hand captured, soft lips pressing a kiss into his palm, before James got up. No, Tony Stark didn’t blush. Maybe he caught something and had a mild fever. Yeah.

 

“I don’t know what are you talking about, man. I’m just a dumb sniper.”

 

“Yeah and my best friend is Maximoff. Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it.”

 

“Nah, not until the second date sweetheart, I’m not an easy boy.”

 

Tony’s laugh echoed around the penthouse.

 

/THE END/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God, it's finished! Yay! And thank you everyone, who wrote a comment and left a kudo, it made my days a little brighter. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Important: I had the worst two months of all my 31 years, so this became an escape/vent fic for me. I'm angry, heartbroken and have lot of other negative emotions, also I'm always salty about Tony Stark.  
> You've been warned.


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